Registered Member #800
Joined: 2:26:38 am GMT 06/19/06
Posts: 2065
Twenty seven Facts About Miggen
#1. Miggen grinds his own peppercorns. With his teeth.
#2. Miggen's chili cheese fries are healthier than raw carrots. Even after he adds the bacon and lard.
#3. Miggen brushes his teeth with wasabi and gargles with pickle brine. But still his breath smells like lemon merengue.
#4. Miggen can boil a three-minute egg in thirty-seven seconds.
#5. When Miggen was born, he collected the hospital slop they'd left for his mother and made it into an zesty, appetizing goulash. The dish fed the entire maternity ward for a week.
#6. Miggen doesn't reduce sauces. He demoralizes sauces.
#7 Miggen prepares his fugu blindfolded, with one chopstick and a scrimgnaw. Miggen ain't afraid of no chump neurotoxin.
#8. Miggen's magic blender has four speeds: 'stir', 'mix', 'frappe', and 'plasmify'.
#9. Miggen can split a pineapple in half using only his pinkies. For coconuts, though, he has to use his thumbs.
#10. Miggen knows where capers come from. And he grows his own, on a Chia pet in the pantry.
#11. Miggen slices ham so thin, it can only be seen using an electron microscope.
#12. Some knives can slice through a tin can and still cut a tomato. Miggen's knives can slice through a Iron Golem, and still cut a tin can.
#13. Grown men have been known to weep for joy in the mere presence of Miggen's vinagrette. His hollandaise sauce can kill a man from sheer ecstacy at forty paces.
#14. Miggencan eat just one Lay's potato chip. If he ever bothered to eat food he didn't make himself, that is.
#15. Miggen once got carried away slicing carrots, and julienned his cutting board. Undaunted, he sauteed the splinters in olive oil and spices -- and they were delicious.
#16. Miggen can pair a wine with any food -- including hot dogs, ice cream, raw eggs, Alpo, sawdust, and soylent green. It's people!
#17. Miggen's cakes don't rise. They ascend.
#18. Some meats are so tender, they seem to melt in your mouth. Miggen's meats are so tender, he's had entire turkeys vanish into thin air.
#19. Miggen's no saint. But if his chicken Kiev cures one more kid's leprosy, the church will reconsider the evidence.
#20. Miggen doesn't whip potatoes. Miggen's potatoes whip themselves, if they know what's good for them.
#23. Miggen's freezer operates at minus-twenty-seven degrees. Kelvin.
#24. Miggen once prepared shrimp gumbo for a cooking competition, using only salt, water, canned Badger, and a packet of 'Horsey Sauce'. He took second place. He would have won, but one of the judges was allergic to shellfish.
#25. Miggen can fit three hundred and forty-two cookies on a standard-sized baking sheet. Without any touching.
#26. When Miggen slices onions, the onions cry.
#27. Miggen was once asked to participate in a blind orange juice taste test. He was the only person able to successfully identify the brand, style, vintage, temperature, pH level, distance to the orchard, age of the grove trees, and the names of the workers picking the fruit. Including the one who needs to start washing after bathroom breaks.
Actualy stolen list form the net, (ZUG comedy archive) and then changed, rewriten some etc
Registered Member #800
Joined: 2:26:38 am GMT 06/19/06
Posts: 2065
#29Miggens fondue have made Liches grow pink flowers as hair and them to instantly redeem themself
#30 When lost in the desert the desert do not deceive him with mirages, the dessert gives him real oasis in hope he will immortalize it by making a drink form its water.
#31Miggen have made 329 new drinks, all famous, form just water
[ The Island of Thain ]
Miggen facts!
but the facts are about his character....
