Username or Email:


[ ]
[ ]
[ ]
You must be logged in to post comments on this site - please either log in or if you are not registered click here to signup

  • Cuchuwyn
    Cuchuwyn  22 hours ago

    Reminder: no necro night tonight! See you Saturday for the big event!

  • scratch_flannigan
    scratch_flannigan  3 days ago

    Unfortunately, I have had something come up today and I will not be able to run Nature Night again today.

    Hopefully, life will get back to normal next week, and we can return to our regular schedule.

    Feel free to get together as The Called and have an adventure and/or some great RP. smile

  • wisdombeyondages
    wisdombeyondages  5 days ago

    Orc Night in 2 hours! Meet at the Hellshire camp! Portal will be available for travel!

  • Payne
    Payne  5 days ago


  • Wraitheus
    Wraitheus  5 days ago

    Story Night at the Tin & Tankard in three hours! Hope to see you there.

  • archgrendel
    archgrendel  6 days ago

    Dwarf Night! Dwarves Assemble! In about 2 hours from now (8pm est)! Meet by the main gate to Hammersong

  • Cuchuwyn
    Cuchuwyn  1 week ago

    Meant to get this out earlier, but there is a Necro Night tonight, starting in about 7 minutes!

  • scratch_flannigan
    scratch_flannigan  1 week ago

    I have to go into the office today, so I will not be able to host Nature Night. frown

    The Wild Grove is set up and ready to go, so feel free to meet up and spread Nature's Blessings if you wish! smile

  • Alanonas
    Alanonas  1 week ago

    Brimstone Knight Tournament begins in a lil over 3 hours (1 pm EST) from this post! There is a portal at the transition between the Long Road West and Drakamyre Rise.

  • wisdombeyondages
    wisdombeyondages  1 week ago

    Orc Night starts in 30 mins!

The Island of Thain :: Forums :: In Character Discussion
« Previous topic | Next topic »   


LAN_402 LAN_403
Cleric of Mystra
5:15:48 am GMT 09/24/09
Cleric of Mystra Registered Member #1083 Joined: 7:29:11 pm GMT 06/25/07
Posts: 1519
((I'm posting this here too for ease of reading. I had put it in his main thread because I felt like writing and didn't know where to stick it, but I guess this is better. Toodles.))

I remember how the alien, yet familiar, substance made its way down my throat. The moment it came into contact with my lips, I began doubting if I had simply lost my mind; if my sense of judgement, of which I have been always proud, had failed me in that decisive second. I shut down those thoughts, knowing there was no turning back at that point. It is not the first time I have done that.

The scorching chill of the dense liquid burned my throat more and more as fractions of time passed. I could feel it consuming me from inside, like a parasite, feeding off my life force. My hand grasped the old wooden table while my legs made an effort to keep me standing. Right now, I am unsure if I was the one in control of my body or if I was the puppet of an ambiguously benevolent master.

I can swear the dark room spun around me with frightening speed. The wood began to melt between my fingers and I fell to my knees as I suddenly saw a girl's face etched in the walls; it was vague at first, though it became clearer within mere seconds. She stared at me wherever I looked. When I closed my eyes, I could see her still.
I can see her still.

As the pain grew inside me, I started to worry less and less about my well being. I feel ashamed to even think of it now, but I had just given up and handed my life to the powers of fate, in which I have no faith. Yet, the circumstances twisted me. I was a broken man, a worthless creature giving up and accepting its course instead of fighting. The more I speak of it, the more pathetic I feel.

She giggled, knowing how I was not willing to carry on. The sound of her innocent yet fiendish laughing became unbearable with each and every second, to the point I forgot about my physical pain for the slightest of moments. If she purposely obfuscated it, I will never know. A part of my thinks she did, while another is sure she was simply making me feel like the insect I was.

The pain intensified. I felt as if a ravaging creature was trying to claw its way out of my body. My face met the cold floor, though it seemed as if I had just been pushed into a botomless pit. I wonder, in such a situation, what would happen to man who knew it was, indeed, botomless? Would he simply shrug and die of old age while in constant descent? The concept is terrifying. But I digress.

I remember wishing my mind would just shut down so I could die in peace and without pain, yet it would not; the puppet master wanted me to experience my mistake, to experience the result of my actions. Had I been able to speak, I would have begged for mercy, something I have yet to do in my entire life.

I could see the remains of the room turning into shades of crimson. The last thing I saw. The last thing I remember.

When I woke up, I asked myself if I was alive or if my error had finally ended my existance. I was not even sure if I had simply dreamed it all.

"You are alive", she said.

I can see her still.
Back to top
Cleric of Mystra
5:16:20 am GMT 09/24/09
Cleric of Mystra Registered Member #1083 Joined: 7:29:11 pm GMT 06/25/07
Posts: 1519
The pain in my back finally became annoying enough that I am simply not willing to bear with it anymore, hopelessly waiting it will heal itself like every injury I have had. Doctor Stoin told me mortality was creeping up on me and my body is not the same as it used to be; I am not as worried as I should be.

Ironically, it was the pain that allowed me to divert my thoughts from what really worried me. As long as performing heavy physical exercise resulted in excruciating pain and, consequently, my focusing on the present rather than the future, I thought I would be fine. Of course, it eventually reached a point when there was no other choice, so I sought out the only physician I had heard about.

I am just old, something Thavius made sure to confirm. I did not expect a different answer from him as far as my condition went. I do have to ask myself if my age is also degrading my mind, or at least my power to reason; what was crystal clear in the past is now blurred and distorted, often taking forms I never imagined I could take. Again, Doctor Stoin simply confirmed what I feared.

His words on the deities would have probably earned him my hatred some months prior. That these immensely powerful beings may be a single entity showing its numerous personalities and, more importantly, that it did not care about any of us. That it simply existed along with our world. That every god and goddess is a creation of the mind, a construct made to fill an empty spot in the soul. Truly outrageous, but at the same time, his words made so much sense. At least, they made sense to me.

I do not feel the warmth I used to feel. Is She leaving me, or am I realizing that She never existed to start with?

What is that figure in the darkness?

I am a heretic.

I believe my life will sharply come to an end in the uncomfortably near future.
Back to top
Cleric of Mystra
7:10:51 am GMT 09/25/09
Cleric of Mystra Registered Member #1083 Joined: 7:29:11 pm GMT 06/25/07
Posts: 1519
Yesterday, when I took the stairs and opened the door to my study, I found the walls bathed in fresh blood.

The room looked smaller, opressing, as if it was coming towards me to take me in its red embrace. I distinctly recall the bittersweet scent that lingered in the air, strong enough that I wrinkled my nose in response. The incessant crimson drops from the ceiling made it look like it was raining.

I stood motionless under the frame of the wooden door. A part of my mind worked furiously to determine what had happened, while the other simply attempted to disbelieve the situation. Each and every piece of information that my senses gathered was delivered to my brain; one part included it in its reasoning, while the other tossed the newly acquired clues to the side. I remember this so vividly because I felt as an spectator of what was going on inside my head. As if I lacked control.

Glancing over my shoulder only assured me that I was alone, which I do not know if it was for better or for worse. Moreover, there is no way to get into the study without opening the front door and walking up the stairs. And I had yet to determine who was the owner of the blood. It could only be mine if I somehow was not conscious when it happened. The idea is truly frightening.

The dripping became mind numbing. I walked to the end of the room, and when I ran my finger along the bloodied wood, it remained dry, although the wall did show traces of my touch. Trying again yielded the same results, and I eventually gave up. I slowly walked across the room and sat on the corner, between the bookcase and the candelabra, where I forced myself to sleep. Seconds before I finally shut my eyes, I thought I saw the outline of a human body on the red floor.

By the next morning, the blood was gone, as if it had never been there. I have decided to leave my home. It is tainted.
Back to top
Cleric of Mystra
2:54:02 pm GMT 11/30/09
Cleric of Mystra Registered Member #1083 Joined: 7:29:11 pm GMT 06/25/07
Posts: 1519
I have been sitting in my new home for days. I stopped moving yesterday, when each step was plagued with horrid images of death and despair. Normally, I would not mind these, but they involved my own self.

It is clearly not where I am located. It is just me, and I cannot run away from what I am.

I can only blame myself for my current situation. It would bring me some peace of mind to put the guilt on another, and I even know who I would choose to blame instead of me. However, I am aware this sense of relief would be only temporary, lasting until I decide to stop lying to myself.

At this point, I cannot tell if what is going on is a product of my mind or is the product of Her disappointment. Of course, of those two possibilities, I have yet to determine which one frightens me the least.

I can't run away from myself...

... maybe I can.

[ image disabled ]
Back to top
Cleric of Mystra
3:29:53 am GMT 12/16/09
Cleric of Mystra Registered Member #1083 Joined: 7:29:11 pm GMT 06/25/07
Posts: 1519
I finally decided that I did not feel like dying in such a pathetic way, so one of the many rodents living in my house was sent to look for my apprentice and bring him to me.

I do not know how long they took, for I had collapsed on the table when Razon woke me up, but he says he came as fast as he could. For all I know, he could have lied the hell out of me. It is not important.

I remember I had a dagger on my hand when Razon came in, though I do not remember exactly why I was holding it. I doubt it was anything related with suicide, but one never knows. Razon saw my decaying state instantly; I could see, however, how he was attempting to stay calm. He asked me what had happened and where I had been. I proceeded to explain.

[ image disabled ]

"Maybe this is Her revenge", he said when I was finished. I never saw it explicitely that way, though it perfectly summarized my situation.

"I know it's my fight. I'm asking you to help me fight it", I continued. I could see that Razon was worried that he might suffer collateral damage should he choose to help me. I quickly assured him that it should not be the case. That prompted me to ask myself whether he would give his life for me at some point in time. I think not, though I should be grateful that he is assisting on this task to start with.

I reached into my pack and pulled one of the nearby crates towards the table. I placed everything that reminded me of my past life there. The toxic weapons I enjoyed using, the vials of poisonous liquid that I gathered over the years, the leaf I had considered one of my most important possessions, the life-consuming bow which I so proudly used and countless other small items I carried with me wherever I went. I told him he could keep them, sell them or destroy them, but that I did not want to see them again. Then I saw my shield and remembered the blood-painted symbol that had been carved on it. Placing it on the table, I furiously hacked at it with my blade, enough to make the symbol disappear. It is difficult to remember the few seconds when I swung my longsword.

We talked for an hour or two. He even got a smile out of me. It was fulfilling to see hope at the end of the road and not just one's demise. That night, I slept peacefully for the first time in weeks.

I am sure Razon will always remember my question that day. "Will you teach me?"
Back to top
Cleric of Mystra
1:11:19 am GMT 12/17/09
Cleric of Mystra Registered Member #1083 Joined: 7:29:11 pm GMT 06/25/07
Posts: 1519
Razon handed me his blessed hammer. He did not know who blessed it, but it was clear that there was a strong enchantment of the light within it. A book titled "Lady Poison's Dogma" had been placed on the table moments ago; I looked at it with mild disgust, momentarily blaming it for my luck.

As I lifted the hammer over my head and brought it down on the book, I swear my mind was completely blank. Razon was helping me stand up when I finally came to my senses and opened my eyes. From the floor, I could see the book spewing forth a foul smoke that will forever taint that room, only to disappear in mere seconds. I smiled.

The next day, I stepped out of my home for the first time in... I do not remember how long I was there, but it certainly seemed like months. I walked to the temple of the Stone Circle and acquired lighter armour, even if I was not planning on using it yet. It recquires some modifications which I hope to pay with my old plate. I wonder if Kasith is still in the business.

The air was as fresh as ever, or maybe that is what one feels after an extended period of seclusion. Nevertheless, I was glad to be outside once again: I felt weak, but not hopeless. The sun was high when I walked past Krel's little criminal town and even higher when I reached the Crossroads. I did not know any of those gathered, so I continued a bit more to the south and sat under the shade of a tree. Razon did not take long to appear before me once again. He was clearly glad that I had decided to come out.

We agreed that it was time to get things moving. First, I needed to get back in fighting shape, and that was exactly what we did for the rest of the day. I was wary, but decided that not using any armour would be beneficial in the long run, as I learned to move quickly, to be more agile. When we arrived at the Hammersong gates, Razon instructed me stay low and try to creep up to the giants nearby. I cannot say that each blow that I took did not hurt, but at least I could see some progress. It was slow, but I could see the improvement.

When we had swept the Pass, Razon took his leave. I thanked him but told him I was going to train some more, despite my exhaustion. I did not stop until the night came.

[ image disabled ]

((Screenshot taken offline))
Back to top
Cleric of Mystra
9:18:44 pm GMT 12/20/09
Cleric of Mystra Registered Member #1083 Joined: 7:29:11 pm GMT 06/25/07
Posts: 1519
My eyes are closed, though I know Anestar's are not. I have been pretending to sleep for the better part of an hour while I think. Whatever she gave me is making me feel as if I just ate something that had been dead for a few days.

I am not exactly sure why I accepted her help. For all I know, and like I told her, she has more reasons to stick a blade in my gut than to help me recover, but it appears that she truly wants to aid. I still remember the time I had to turn her into stone so she would shut the hell up, though that took place long ago. Maybe she does not recall.

As she prepared the medicine by the fireplace in her home, I took note of every of her movements. If she did intend to kill me, she was not going to do it with that brew of hers. Luckily enough, all the ingredients looked safe, but who knows what the combination of all will do; I guess I have no other options, since I cannot properly train if I am still coughing blood every time I perform demanding exercise. Anestar said it would be three or four days at least, considering the kind of damage that my body had undergone. I assured her that the damage was not only physical, though she did not appear to care.

The liquid was surprisingly warm for something that looked almost frozen, but after five or so minutes I began to feel quite sick. She had warned me about this before, while she explained how it would cleanse my blood. Meanwhile, I took the bottle of water she offered and drank from it. It was refreshing for a fraction of a second.

Anestar claims she will stay with me all the time. I am unsure if I should be grateful or fear for my well being. Whatever, I am desperate.
Back to top
Cleric of Mystra
2:31:40 pm GMT 02/08/10
Cleric of Mystra Registered Member #1083 Joined: 7:29:11 pm GMT 06/25/07
Posts: 1519
I wish I could somehow put it all behind me. To continue walking without ever looking back, but I am no fool. When your hands have been willingly stained by the blood of others and when your very person exudes the putrid smell of death, there is no turning away. When I watch others who think they have changed, I cannot help but feel sorry.

But still, there are parts of me that are no longer, parts that I cut off like parasites. And they really were parasites, as they fed off me until the moment when there was nothing left to consume. They represent objects, people, feelings, duties, faiths. Without them, I feel cleaner, lighter; I would venture to say happier, but I would not know yet. As far as I am concerned, I have the freedom that I lacked for forty years.

Even if I am still unsure of what was left back, it is the end of an era. And with it, new things come. To hell if I am not ready for them.
Back to top

Moderator(s): TheSiteMaster, Squidget, Bonesly, Just Miggen, scratch_flannigan, jewwe, Warlord Kro, ChaoticDrow, Cuchuwyn, Alanonas, Oberon

Go to:

Forum theme loosely based on Invision Power Board
  • Guests: 11
  • Members: 2
  • Newest Member: Gwondier
  • Most ever online: 155
    Guests: 155, Members: 0 on Sunday 11 December 2016 - 13:15:05
Now Playing
1. Cidilr Alufin
2. Inssu Venax
3. Dele Ondre Blackle
4. Hugdish Lurgink
5. Strovel Stonebreaker
6. Cyrille Bernier
7. Sam Banicknet
8. Amrynn Perfir
9. Ilyrana Vanim�rie
10. Shade Dracswell III
11. Junn
Connect to us with or thain.no-ip.org