Registered Member #442
Joined: 8:50:19 pm GMT 02/24/05
Posts: 972
1) Conversation: Lady Granol (human NPC, Steinkreis Keep)
Lady Granol states the following when granting a license:
"Then I shall grant you a license. It is bound to your name and you only recieve one! Loose it or have it be removed by us and you will not get another."
'Receive' and 'lose' are both misspelled.
2) Description: Berylla Hardbottle (gnome NPC, Sandurrow Bay center of commerce)
This is Berylla's description:
"A pleasant young gnome stands here. She is slightly taller then the average gnome."
'Then' should be 'than'.
3) Description: Shrine of Earth (placeable, road to northlands)
Here's the Shrine of Earth's description:
"Upon the centre ston of this shrine various ancient pictograms are engraved that seem to depict the various natures of earth and nature."
Registered Member #442
Joined: 8:50:19 pm GMT 02/24/05
Posts: 972
1) Description: Helm of Conviction (item, Raven's Watch: The Ebon Connection)
Here's the description:
"These helmets are part of the basic equipment issued to Zhentarim soldiers. The steel has been augmented and blessed to embolden the wearers' minds and hearts, thus helping them stand unwavering in the face of their enemies and bring glory to the Network."
There appears to be an extra space after "wearers".
2) Description: Helm of the Despot (item, Raven's Watch: The Ebon Connection)
Here's the description's first paragraph:
"All he wanted was dominion over the entire world. Some say he wore a crown of iron to mark his rule, to identify himself to those who were unaware who the mortal man was.. before he became a god."
The ellipsis is missing a period.
3) Description: The Iron Gauntlets (item, Raven's Watch: The Ebon Connection)
Here's the description's first paragraph:
"It is said that the monks and assassins of the Network, the Order of the Iron Gauntlet, strike as the Hand of Bane to remove those who are foolish to stand in the path of advancement. The ability to install fear and dread in their opponents, while killing swift and silent make them truly a force to be reckoned with."
'Install' should likely be 'instill'. 'Swift and silent' should be 'swiftly and silently'. I'd also be inclined to rewrite 'are foolish' as 'foolishly' or 'are foolish enough', though that is, perhaps, more a matter of taste.
4) Description: Lash of Cruelty (item, Raven's Watch: The Ebon Connection)
Here's the description:
" Created from rough and twisted black leather, and set with iron barbs, this heavy coiled whip not only inflicts several physical damage upon those it strikes, but also weakens the mind in order to slowly break down those it is used against."
'Several' should be 'severe'. There also appears to be an extra blank line before the beginning of the description.
5) Description: Skull Blade (item, Raven's Watch: The Ebon Connection)
Here's the description's second paragraph:
"If one were to remove the leather, they would find the scribed rune marking it embued with the blessing of Cyric, the Prince of Lies."
'Embued' should be 'imbued'.
6) Description: Baneblade (item, Raven's Watch: The Ebon Connection)
Here's the description:
"These bastard swords are adorned upon the blade and hilt with symbols of the Black Hand, marking of Bane. While many fear the wrath that might be incurred from wielding such a blade, others are willing to take the risk the chance in order to use a weapon of such craftsmanship."
Either 'the risk' or 'the chance' should be removed.
"Darastrix'vyth Akuech - Laraek vur Litrix This elaborately painted sign shows the name of the forge in both Common and ornate Draconic, the letters a firey orange. A solid border framing the sign appears as if one is looking at the south of the stone forge within. A tiny dragon of flame dances at its heart, holding a smithing hammer in both claws."
Registered Member #442
Joined: 8:50:19 pm GMT 02/24/05
Posts: 972
1) Description: Potion of Displacement (potion, sold by Moibhan of Hammersong--and perhaps others)
Here's the description:
"This potion is brewed from the dust of certain Underdark crystals and has a strange affect on its drinker. His or her body appears blurred and displaced from its true location for a short amount of time."
'Affect' should be 'effect'.
2) Conversation: Stone Circle Researcher (human NPC, Steinkreis: Temple of the Circle)
On accepting the quest, the researcher says the following:
"I shall continue my studies in the mean time. May your gods light your path!"
'Mean time' should be one word.
Also, here's his reply after providing Jerrit's journal:
"[Reads the old journal with amazing speed.] Hmm... a truly dark tale. Wait... what's this? On this back cover... "The Incantation of the Lord's Tomb" is says. That sounds most ominous! I can translate it for you... it might come in handy."
The 'is' after "The Incantation of the Lord's Tomb" should be an 'it'.
3) Description: Poisonwood Cleric (elven NPC, various Poisonwood regions)
Here's the description:
"Educated to kill as quick to cure the Poisonwood clerics are a worthy foe to any adventurer."
'Quick' should be 'quickly as', and 'a worthy foe' should be 'worthy foes'.
4) Name: Adumbral Woods: VesZerrk's Rise (area) or Name: Veszerrk (ettercap boss NPC)
Clearly, one of the above names is incorrect.
Edit: All other instances of Veszerrk's name are spelled without capitalization, so I assume the latter is correct.
Registered Member #1050
Joined: 7:35:50 am GMT 05/11/07
Posts: 409
Firstly thanks for the caravan at the Trade, but when the caravan master asks where you want to travel, she says Southeren Coast, which I think should be Southern Coast, (unless that is the name - not the direction).
When a player asks whether Khalador has any items for sale, he responds with the following:
"There are plenty of items that are left from the fallen on these dark mountain roads, and my servants pick them up and return them to me. And with the demolition of the Outpost down south, they have decided to ship this gear to my tower in stead. Take a look at my collection and see if anything is to your liking."
'Instead' should be one word.
2) Conversation: Keanes (human NPC, Hamley: Metal Shop)
Multiple errors.
The third option in the first dialogue branch reads as follows:
"No actually... I'l just be on my way."
'I'll' is missing an 'l'.
If the player inquires about viewing Keanes' inventory, he says the following:
"Ah.... I don't really sell much. Mostly I just do repair work for the farmers. I do have a couple of bits and pieces of this and that that've been left here over-long if you're interested."
The hyphen should be removed from 'over-long'.
Furthermore, the player is given two options to respond with after that. The second reads as follows:
"I'm not interested in other peoples junk!"
There should be an apostrophe after 'peoples'.
There are also some ellipses that could be snipped down a bit, but I won't list them all.
3) Description: Waste Cobra
Here's the waste cobra's description:
"A small reptillian creature that holds a deadly bite. Careful not to step on it."
[ The Island of Thain ]
Spelling Errors IV
